Why are little girls told to just dismiss boys’ behaviour because “that’s simply the way they are”? Why are present fathers celebrated, but present mothers taken for granted? Why can a man with a criminal record run for president, yet a woman running against him is scrutinized and resented for not being perfect? Because after all, boys will be boys.
Author: Natalia Laskowska
Internalised sexism is something that children absorb from their earliest years. It is common knowledge that girls are better behaved than boys, but why is it that way? While there are some developmental differences between boys and girls, none can actually justify the justification of their behaviour itself.
Girls will be separated from their friends and forced to sit next to a boy to “calm him down”, they will be teased and bullied but the moment they fight back, they are the ones having to face consequences. Doesn’t that just bother the girl and break her focus? This doesn’t stop at primary school. As teenagers, girls are being told that guys act a certain way because they “like you”. But what if you don’t want them to like you? The failure to teach boys about boundaries, making them feel like they’re allowed to do anything, harms girls and women every day. Instead of calming boys down, it reinforces the culture of victim-blaming. By having their experiences dismissed, girls are given the impression that the discomfort or harm caused to them by the opposite gender is “not that serious”. Research shows that more than 90% of perpetrators of sexual assault are male, and as for the conviction rate for sexual assault, how many of them actually go to prison for it? Definitely not enough. According to The Washington Post, fewer than 6% of rapes end in arrest, and fewer than 1% end in conviction. Why is one of the first questions a lot of victims are asked “What were you wearing?”?
Even if girls report the behaviour directed towards them, it is rare that their tormentors face actual consequences. Whether it be in the terrible context of sexual violence, unwanted advances or simply bothering comments, adults seem to be helpless when faced with valid claims of someone affected. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it. You know, it’s not personal, that’s just the way he is.”
By saying that “boys will be boys”, adults fail to hold boys accountable for their actions and, without even realising it, strengthen the foundation of toxic masculinity. They excuse misbehaviour as being simply part of their nature, reinforcing negative stereotypes and gender norms. In theory, a girl and a boy will have the same opportunities, but one of them will walk on a red carpet and make the other trip over their leg constantly. How can we, as an egalitarian society, claim that we try to achieve gender equality, and still perpetuate sexist standards?
Cover image from: Pablo Valerio from Pixabay
Edited by: Johanna Larsson Krausová
